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Take Your Time

A bunch of stuff that i find relevant. Mostly humor.
Mar 26 '21
marsdaydream:
“ drinkmasturbatecry:
“ nudityandnerdery:
“ the-fandoms-are-valentines:
“ grandtheftautosanandreas:
“ Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
”
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant...

marsdaydream:

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course:

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

Nov 2 '20

everythingfox:

“What happens when you have heated tile flooring”

(via)

Aug 16 '20
Aug 8 '20
Jul 31 '20

gaygaara:

eating-rocks:

I’m replaying skyrim and I always forget the the default face and the guy that greets you when you wake up is the same

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And it’s so fucking funny to me because all I can think of is them just

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Jul 6 '20
loving-women-is-rad:
“ tinatinabrown:
“ yrfriendliz:
“http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793 This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney...

loving-women-is-rad:

tinatinabrown:

yrfriendliz:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793 This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words. Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

this is the kind of content i came here for

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he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent

Jul 4 '20

sabertoothwalrus:

sabertoothwalrus:

I don’t care if the world isn’t ready to hear it, but I’m going to say it:

“Sugar We’re Going Down Kung Fu Fighting” is better than either of the original songs that comprise the mashup

for those who need to hear it

Jun 10 '20
cubanpercy:
“GO OFF
”

cubanpercy:

GO OFF

Dec 11 '19

fret-not-dearheart:

fuks:

the best tiktok ever made

dfnlfk; THAT PUPPY IS GOOGLING “AM I ADOPTED”

Jul 24 '19

revolutionarykoolaid:

lollen96:

chesterpalm:

jvlianbashir:

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my new favorite hobby is looking at fucked up easter lamb cakes.

those were supposed to be lambs?

I thought these were all misshapen dogs

These are only ever beaten by the terrible attempts at hedgehog cakes that I so often google to feel better about my baking ability.

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cursed